The Wedding
by MPD Trekkie
Summary: Daffyd is getting married! Daffyd has met the man of his dreams.. or has he?


In the little Church of Llandewi Breffi, Daffyd is getting ready to get married to his new love, Dye. For the bride Daffyd is wearing tight PVC shorts and a tight white PVC shirt with a big red heart on the front and veil. The groom Dye is wearing a purple leopard print cat-suit with a bow-tie.

Whilst everyone is getting settled down The Weather Girls- Raining men is playing, eventually when all the guests are settles and Daffyd appears with Myfanwy the Wedding March starts, Myfanwy and Daffyd start to walk down the Isle towards to Dye. They get there and Myfanwy sits down next to Daffyd's parents.

The service begins:

Gay Priest: We are gathered here to witness...

Daffyd: Uh, I can't believe I have been allowed in a church I am gay you know. And it's fine by me if any of you want to leave!

Gay Priest: coughs slightly and carries on Daffyd and Dye to be joined in holy matrimony.

As the service goes on Daffyd thinks back to the night before.

He wandered down to the pub, he bursts in wearing his tight blue PVC superman outfit.

Daffyd: Oh, it's so lonely being the only gay in the village.

Daffyd looked around for Myfanwy the bar-maid but she wasn't there. He called for her and a few minutes later she came out pulling her knickers up and straightening her skirt; her red lipstick had been smudged.

Myfanwy: Oh sorry Daffyd, was just having a shagg out back with my girl friend. She begins to clean a glass with a cloth as they speak.

Daffyd: Nice to see you get on with the ladies.

Myfanwy just looks at him and rolls her eyes. She doesn't bother to try explain to Daffyd and just carries on cleaning the glass.

Myfanwy: Oh I have sad story to tell you, I was sitting at home the other night watching the end of Emmerdale when there was a knock at the door. When I opened the door there was a young lad sitting on my door step wet threw with rain. So I let him in and I gave him something to eat and a hot bath.

Daffyd: My dear Myfanwy what business have you letting strange men in your house?

Myfanwy: Let me finish. Any way it turns out he was a gay too and his parents had thrown him out, and he had no where to go. Poor lad so I let him stay in the spare room and found him some clothes to wear.

Daffyd: crying a little Oh why do people have to be so cruel to gays? How is the poor lad?

Myfanwy: Well you can ask him if you want he's round the back I'll go get him.

Daffyd who is uncomfortable about the fact that there is another gay in the village feels the urge to storm out, but some strange force persuades him to stay and meet the lad.

Myfanwy returns with tall dark lad wearing some old jeans and a shirt. He sits down next to Daffyd. There is a moment where their eyes meet and they look away again.

Myfanwy: This is Dye... be nice!

Daffyd: I can't believe there is another gay in the village I will not stand for this!

Myfanwy: Daffyd don't you walk out with out having a drink with Dye!

Daffyd: Oh very well, mind you if he gets up to any 'funny stuff' I'm leaving!

A few hours pass and Daffyd and Dye are still drinking. Daffyd is no totally rat arsed yet Dye seems to be completely sober.

Dye: You know Daffyd, I love you, will you marry me?

Daffyd: Of course I will!

Dye goes to kiss Daffyd but Daffyd pulls away not willing to receive the kiss of another gay. Dye presents a pink 70's ring and they were engaged.

Dye gets up on the bar and announces that he and Daffyd are to be married.

The Pub: When will the day be?

Dye: Tomorrow!

From that point onwards Daffyd's memory fades into and uncomfortable feeling in his back side.

Gay Priest: Daffyd..Daffyd?

Daffyd who had been day dreaming sobers up.

Daffyd: Oh sorry didn't get much sleep last night.

The feeling in his back side returns again and Daffyd winces, Dye notices Daffyd discomfort and smiles at the memory of the night before.

Gay Priest: Daffyd, do you take Dye to be your lawful wedding husband?

Daffyd seems a bit hesitant in answering the question then replies 'I do'.

Gay Priest: By the power invested in me I now pronounce you husband and wife.

Daffyd and Dye face each other before embracing each other softly in a kiss before leaving the church to be whisked off on their Honeymoon, outside the Church the whole of Llandewi Breffi are clapping and cheering the new couple on.

The wedding photographer shuffles everyone into the frame to take a group photo.

Photographer: Ah that's lovely every one ready?

Before the picture is taken the people of Llandewi Breffi turn to the nearest same sexed person kissing them passionately.

The picture is taken and much to Daffyd disgust he cries out "Wait a minute does that mean your all gay!"

Llandewi Breffi: Yes!

Daffyd: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Daffyd wakes up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat, he looks to his bedside table and there is the wedding photograph and Dye sleeping next to him.

Daffyd wakes up from the nightmare and looks at the bed side table to search for the picture of the wedding but finds non and with that there is no Dye in the bed next to him.

He sighs in relief then makes his way down to the Kitchen where he finds his dad stark naked humping some unknown bloke on his lap.

Daffyd has no idea what to do except call for his mother.

His mother appears from the back kitchen with some woman wielding a giant black dildo.

Daffyd's mum: What's the matter love?

Daffyd screams out in sheer horror, in which the neighbourhood could hear before fainting.


End file.
